i have the sex appeal of a walrus.
american idiot starts off all yeah lets kick ass but by the end of the album woah where’d all this emotion come from
because every teenager ever acts all badass and rebellious to hide the fact that we’re still scared kids full of feelings and tenderness inside
This text post starts off all kick ass but by the end its like woah where did all this emotion come from
so I’m at a gas station getting RED BULL AND THE GUY INFRONT OF ME IS TRYING TO GET CONDOMS AND HIS CARD GOT FUCKING DECLINED AND THIS LITTLE OLD WOMAN BEHIND ME WHISPEREd “he just got cock blocked by visa” I FUCKING SHAT MYSELF
oh my god i just discovered a site where you can by bulk candy by color/flavor
you can buy two pounds of exclusively pink starbursts
you can buy endless red skittles
i never thought i’d see heaven
dang girl are you my appendix because I don’t understand how you work but this feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out
That is quite possibly the weirdest and most carefully thought out pickup line I’ve ever read. I applaud you.
First day back at school
Second day back at school
whenever “strong female characters” insult men by calling them girls my eyes roll so far back in my head i can see my brain cells die
bury me in armor so I’ll be ready for the skeleton war
why is his fricking chest uncovered? that’s ppor planning right there
what are you gonna do?
stab a skeleton in the heart?
no, I’ll play their rib bones like xylobones and destroy the morale of the skeleton army with my sick and delightful xylobone playing